“I was unaware of the inequalities faced by BAME women at that time…”

My waters broke on the 1st of the month @ 38.2 weeks, the midwives at hospital advised me to wait at home until my contractions started, this was their policy they informed me.  The community midwife was worried about the risk to the baby, and adamant that I go in to hospital.  The hospital sent me home as there was no space.   Day 2 was a repeat of day 1, bar the visit to the Maternity Ward.  I ended up having an emergency C-section on the 3rd, prior to attending, the helpline staff were still advising me to stay at home and wait.  

 My 'plan' had been to have a water birth at home.  I had no medical issues, not even hypertension, during my pregnancy.  However, I ended up staying at the hospital, with my baby in NICU, for 10 days afterward.  The care was varied.  Some staff spoke to me in a loud voice when they saw my brown face, and we had another incident when a member of staff mistook my sister as the patient and tried to give her an injection without communicating to her or me.  

 The care of my baby in NICU and the support to breastfeed was excellent, my baby did not latch and was subsequently bottle fed.    

 As an NHS worker, I was trying to be a good patient, with hindsight, I should have been more assertive.  This experience traumatised me to not have any more children.  I had/ have guilt for not being able to breastfeed.   

I was unaware of the inequalities faced by BAME women at that time.  I was offered the opportunity to visit the hospital and discuss my care which I refused.